P5 - New Year - Help!

In Germany we have the saying "new year new luck"...

Wrong.

2020 was dramatic enough for me. But it seems 2021 wants to be second to none!

It tries hard to bring me down.

During my prolonged X-mas vacation at my parents I come to realise they aren't doing that well. In fact not well at all really. My so believed "save haven" is wretched.

I panic.

Work offers some distraction. But after a couple of weeks the project is terminated. And I learn that I finally don't have the right to 3 months Corona-unemployment-compensation, because to get it in 2021 I ought to have claimed needing it in 2020 already. Thanks for letting me know only AFTER  it's too late to react folks! With just one call 4 months of financially secured existence are reduced to 4 weeks.

I am up to my neck in desperately deep water.

 I apply for the odd job, start working as a trainee in a dental technician laboratory even, but it's not working out.

2 weeks Easter holiday back at my parents are meant to give me some rest and time to think of how to best sort things out in my life.

Only as I arrive my father opens the door with tears in his eyes. My mum isn't doing well. Really she is dying - only we don't know it. Until the next day, when her doctor calls just having had a look at her latest blood results and telling us that my mum is on the verge of a liver failure. She needs to go to hospital - immediately. But the hospital doesn't want to deal with my mum in the critical state she is in. So she is send on to a specialised clinic. The experts there tell us things are pretty hopeless only a transplantation can save her. In preparation they do a dialysis - that causes my mum to have a heart attack. There has to be an emergency operation done.

Easter holiday is f... up. Relaxation?! You wish.

 I do come to "sort out" how to best go on with my life - for the moment - though. Because my mum survives. After 2 months in hospital she is brought back home. Looking 20 years older and a case for nursing care. But "alive" and with her own liver. We are happy to see her again at all and glad that - should she die now - she would do it at home surrounded by her family not due to Corona-restrictions alone and lonely in an anonymous hospital bed.

My siblings all have jobs and children they are kept busy by therefore have no time to give my father a hand. I - luckily without neither partner in life, nor children or work - am free as a bird. So I abandon my flat and move in with my parents.

For reasonable reasons, but reluctantly - with a load of emotional baggage in the trunk of my car.

In all that chaos and despair there isn't a lot of room for "creation". I hardly find it in me to work on something quietly and concentrated. The mind needs physical excercise to not get into mischief and blow up the system completely.

...

Therefore:

my parents garden profits from an unusual amount of TLC. It hasn't looked that neat and tidy for ages! :o